DRESSAGE Unscrambled
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By way of explanation in the picture above, the Number 3 DRESSAGE Unscrambled car seems to have made a wrong turn off the back straightaway at the Lowe's Charlotte Motor Speedway and finds itself parked illegally in Edward Hopper's "Early Sunday Morning."
(FRONT COVER)
(BACK COVER)
MEANWHILE, HERE'S A SAMPLE :
Vending Machines
I must have been traveling too often, staying in too many hotels....
You
know how down by the ice machine next to the elevators they always have
vending machines? The ones with a big Plexiglas window and a whole mess
of snack items—Sun Chips and Fritos and Ring Dings and Lorna
Doones—each stacked on copper spiral holders all in rows and columns?
And you put your 75 or 85 cents in the slot, the machine blinks READY
READY READY, and all you have to do is “Select.” Punch B-4 and grind
grind fwoop, out the slot at the bottom comes your Snickers. E-6 and
fwoop, here are the Cheetos. In other words, once you’ve made the
preparation, the machine is equally, universally prepared to deliver
you anything on its menu.
It strikes me that it isn’t a bad idea to think of making your horse a bit like one of those vending machines. This is what I mean:
(Click here to continue reading Bill's article "Vending Machines.")
to browse the catalog, and to order Dressage Unscrambled.
Go to stories from the book read aloud by Bill
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"A quirky. lighted hearted look at the world of dressage through
the eyes of American dressage guru, Bill Woods.
Pictured at right is Bill modeling his Guru suit which he found in the back of his closet, left over from 1967.
He remembers being taught by his mentors to constantly inquire, "Would you like that in a waffle or sugar cone?"
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"If
dressage were really this funny, more people would be doing it."
"I read
this book till I fell asleep."
"An
off-the-beaten path to finding the Real Dressage in you."
"Pithy!
Thath all I can thay."
"Dressage
images, analogies, and metaphors that will exercise your Right Brain right. And
anecdotes to reassure riders who lack a Killer Game Face that YOU ARE NOT
ALONE."
"Should
come with an optional V Chip installed."
"Makes
an excellent coaster. Buy four copies."
"Reads
like 'Sally Swift Meets the Firesign Theater.'"
"The
definitive diary of dressage improbabilities."
"I don't
understand any of this."
"Stuff
that needed to be said. I couldn't fail to disagree with him less."
"Put
this book under that shorter table leg."
"Buying this book will help ameliorate Bill's condition."
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An Elizabeth Waller interview
with Bill about the book
From the June 4 issue of Horse and Pony
Glitterati: E. Waller (at left)
and S. Woods
2009
May 24 Wildwood Farm, Shreveport, LA
June 16 Horse Country D&CTA, Ocala, FL
June 27 Tyler, TX
July 12 Daytona Beach Equestrian Centre
July 24 Royal Carousel Friesians, Jordan, UT
July 27 Spokane, WA
August 8 Nottingham, NH
August 27 STRIDE, Ocala, FL
October 2 JC Saddlery, Odessa, FL, presented by Bay Area Dressage
Nov 7 Jordan, UT, book signing
Nov 13 The Equestrian Shop North, Ipswich, MA
Nov 14 Nottingham, NH, book signing
Dec 5 Tyler, TX, book signing
Dec 18 Winning Edge, Ocala, book signing
2010
Feb 9 Tack Trunk, Spokane, WA, book signing
Feb 11 Bainbridge Island, WA, book signing
May 2 Benton, LA, reading
June 13 Willow Bend South, Cottondale, FL, book signing
August 11 Alpha Dressage Assn meeting, Sarasota, FL, signing/reading
Sept 2 Book club at Ocala, FL, hosts Bill to discuss DRESSAGE Unscrambled
Nov 6 Reading for ENYDCTA Awards banquet
Dec 3 Reading at the USDF Convention, Jacksonville, FL
2011
Feb 6 Reading for South Winds Dressage Annual Banquet, Tallahassee, FL
May 14 Reading for the USDF Region 3 Adult Campers, Niceville, FL
May 28 Bill reads DRESSAGE Unscrambled at the National Sporting Library, Middleburg, VA
June 18 Reading at Willow Draw, Weatherford, TX
July 16 Reading at Chisago City, MN
Sept 15 Sale and signing at the Equine Institute and Trade Fair, Ocala, FL
Oct 15 Signing at the Region 3 Championships, Ocala, FL
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DRESSAGE Unscrambled turns up in far away places:
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